The Winter Toast and Roast

Hello there my bus blog reader…what’s new with you?

To all those who have seen and supported my blog-turned-book, thank you. I can't believe volume 1 is officially out! I'm excited to see volume 2 come into fruition, but before that - I should build up some juicy content, no?

First of all...

Do you want to know what it feels like every time I have to start a new blog entry? How it feels to write the very first line before delving in headfirst on my latest bus extravaganza? Try envisioning sitting down in front of an exam paper you know you absolutely haven’t studied for – or better yet, standing up in front of countless people, readying yourself to give an impromptu speech.

Yes, that’s definitely what it feels like to start these entries – I absolutely dread an opening hook because where on earth to begin…what on earth to say? Well now that I’ve been too overly dramatic about it, let’s get into today’s vent.

Yes, you heard me – VENT. Not a vent like the ones you crawl through, more like the ‘rant’ type of vent.

You see, I’ve decided that I cannot take it any longer, and I need to contribute to the several passionate forums about it online... but what is this even about, you may ask?

Well…

It’s about the fact that I can’t seem to comfortably take public transport anywhere in this country without a) dying from embarrassment b) nearly dying literally c) nearly freezing my butt off due to the arctic-level AC (air-conditioning) settings all the buses seem to have going on in summer, but worst of all… d) The blitz-rapid-fire, oven-level temperatures the buses have going on during winter.

Dare I say they start cranking these dreaded hell-fire temperatures even before winter actually starts. One evident sign of autumn bidding us adieu and it’s into the fiery furnace of a bus we go.

Now, I’ve tossed and turned, heck I've even lost sleep over this enigma. Yes, I’m calling it just that because it’s a perplexing mystery as to why anyone would want to be in such discomfort, but perhaps you’re still a bit perplexed yourself at what I’m even referring to – so let me slow down, take it back a bit and explain it for you, slowly.

I’m not quite passionate enough to elaborate on the below-freezing temperatures the air conditioners are set to in summer, because I can somehow accept and be more understanding of that. Heck, at least I can also layer up when cold – but what on earth is one to do when they are beyond their boiling point? Shall I be expected to start ripping off my skin and exposing my internal organs just to feel the slightest bit of relief when it’s much too hot in the space I’m in? I don’t know what it is about Korea – perhaps even Asia, but I cannot speak for where I am not, and thus Korea will bear the brunt of my wrath as I proceed to ignite the fire in my heart on this topic, the same way the bus drivers try to ignite me on fire during the winter season.

As per usual, I digress, so back on track we get!

Alright, so for whatever mysterious reason, when autumn ends and the weather starts cooling down quite significantly - the buses, cafes, subways and whatever indoor or enclosed area you can think of decide it’s time to crank up the heat. Now this is not a gradual crank of the dial. It’s not even a generous turn of the dial. It’s a ‘spin the wheel and win a prize’ kind of turn of the dial. It’s as if someone got a bit too happy with the control they were given when it came to choosing the temperature, and they decided that regulating the inside of a space was not as fun as turning it into a frikken 찜질방 (jjimjilbang) - (Korean word for 'sauna'.)

You go from outside to inside and it goes from zero to one thousand real quickly.

Just imagine waiting outside in the cold, forty-five layers of clothing, three scarves, five pairs of socks and several hot packs stuffed in pockets. (Yes, I’m being dramatic but I’m trying to express that I’m more than prepared for the outdoor temperature because I wear enough clothing…well most of the time.) So please try and understand the utter despair one must feel wearing all those layers when getting on a bus that they know is going to cook them like a Sunday-lunch rotisserie chicken.

Please tell me why I must wear all these layers, only to then get on a bus where the temperature makes me feel like I’ve traveled all the way to visit our damn solar system’s sun. Whilst I completely understand wanting to warm up a space a bit more, turning that space into the sun itself is what grinds the gears of mystery in my head.

Should I now proceed to take off the ninety-nine layers I have wrapped and swaddled my body in? Oh, but where to put all these clothes when I’m crammed on a bus with about twenty other people, bodies smooshed like sardines and windows sealed shut like a vacuum – which by the way, is another enigma in itself. Sure, we want to trap the heat inside the bus, but the heat is at a point where it’s causing carbon dioxide asphyxiation, so please crack open a window for the love of all things! *cries*

I can’t breathe, I can’t move, I can’t think. All I can focus on is the fact that I’m pretty convinced I’m being cooked for dinner and it’s a season and trying time like this that realty makes me miss driving my own vehicle where the control and power is in my own sweet hands.

Now yes, I’ve heard that the obnoxious heating is usually for older people, because older people like the heat and get cold easily. Sure, I’m not arguing that – but surely it cannot be healthy. A lot of people in Korea seem to not be very fond of AC or fan usage. Of course they are used regardless and thank goodness for it because the heat and humidity during summer is something else, but I know a lot of people express a disliking towards it due to their health or not wanting the AC to make them sick. Okay, so what about the HEATING??? Be consistent here people! Surely, you’re worried about THAT making you sick too? No? Just me?

But fine, if I must roast on the bus in 45 degree (113 degree Fahrenheit) temperatures, at least allow me to crack open a window and if I can’t crack one, surely there will be some sensible person to do so!

NOPE.

If you’re not sitting by a window when you get on one of those buses, just know that more than likely you are going to suffer big time, because not once have I seen someone else do God's work and open a window – and if you do manage to do it, chances are someone else will most certainly close it.

Also, yes – I am someone who gets hot easily, but no one with a normal body that regulates itself would be okay with the kind of hot air the buses and subways are blasting here in winter. You almost have to become a strategist when taking public transport at some point because if not, chances are you’re going to be miserable –  just. like. me. You’ve got no hope on the subway but at least with the public city buses, you can try fight for your life by finding a window and standing as close as possible to it because you need to cherish and protect it at all costs. If you’re lucky enough, your bus trip from place A to B is only a few minutes anyway. Heck, if worst comes to worst, you can even get off at the next stop and try again. I’d even try and tell you to take a taxi...but anything other forms of public transport do – the taxis do better. I mean they may very well incinerate you.

However, there is one kind of bus you can’t escape. A bus that’s worse than them all. A bus where you’ll find yourself becoming one with the very seat you’re sitting in (well because you’ll be melting, duh.)

Those buses are...the intercity buses.

You know, those buses I already talked about at some point that get you from city A to city B. We’re not talking about ‘a few minutes,’ we’re talking about a few hours. These buses have windows sure, but none of which that can be opened. You are at the complete mercy of whatever bus driver is driving those buses at the time that you’re using them because they tend to crank up that heat beyond absolute no return.

My friend and I were traveling to Seoul one weekend for a Charlie Puth Concert and I was on the brink of fearing that I wasn’t going to make it because I was pretty convinced I was going to die from overheating on that bus. You think I exaggerate but I cannot stress to you enough the level of discomfort one has to endure on those bus rides. My friend even bought an automated hand-fan just to try and survive the trip a little more confidently than me - genius. We were even so relieved to be going to a concert in winter because at least we didn’t have to worry about getting too hot because you know, concerts can get hot and sweaty.

Oh, we were so wrong.

For some miserable reason, the venue was heated and once again we had to shed layers like we were some kind of reptiles. (Never in my life have I wanted to be cold-blooded so badly.)

Thankfully we survived though. By some miracle, I have managed to survive about thirty days of this heat nonsense, and I still have a whole winter of it ahead of me. Ironically, the bus temperatures felt more extreme at the end of autumn than they do now, so I'm sitting with a somewhat higher survival rate than I was at the beginning of the month.

It’s a lot colder now, so why was the heat as extreme as it was at the start and not even during the thick of it? The worst part about all this is just how un-phased the locals are about the evident crime going on here with the heating on public transport. They’ll be swaddled and covered head to toe and not show an ounce of discomfort, meanwhile you’re beet-red in the face ripping off layers of clothes just to breathe properly.

It’s peak indirect gaslighting I tell you.

*Sigh*…but I guess it’s already too late for me. It’s already been about three years of me enduring this, so just know you have been warned.

Come to Korea during winter and be prepared both physically and mentally to become a steaming hot plate of whatever your favourtie dish is. Yes, that's a figure of speech I just made up but don't be surprised if it becomes a reality.

Yup, when I reflect on it, any season in Korea is most certainly not for the faint-hearted.

Winter is ironically too hot indoors but too cold outdoors. Summer is the opposite where it’s absolutely too hot outdoors but too cold indoors. You got fine dust, bad air quality and pollen filling up your lungs and killing you slowly during spring and autumn would be great and all if it lasted longer than what feels like a week.

Yup, any season in Korea is most certainly a rant waiting to be written.

Also, Happy almost New Year everyone! I hope you're ready for another year of neglected resolutions...I know I am!

Until the next stop (or vent),

Bus Blog Driver Tay